Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's the fairest of them all? The woman who is fair, voluptuous and tall! Why can’t I wake up without a bed head? My skin isn’t smooth and flawless like the commercials; there is acne on my forehead! Beating the dandruff off my shoulder every morning is a must Why can’t my hair release pixie dust? I absolutely loathe my pimple The only body part I am proud of is my dimple! I am bogged down by the asymmetry of my bust Is my body even capable of lust? I look down and I fail to spot an hourglass No guy would ever make a pass! My thighs are engulfed with cellulite How do I burn thigh fat overnight?