The Beginning

Almost half the session is gone...and I'm sitting here on my desk, trying to scribble some part of it down, to figure out my current position., because science has totally messed me up in the past seven months. Simple harmonic motion, molarity, molality,equations, derivations, reactions all of them give me jitters. Even now when I was asked to study, I had no idea from where to start and where to end, therefore I am scribbling this, keeping the notes of the chapter "HYDROGEN" on the table, enacting to study.
To be honest, the first few weeks of standard 11 were disgusting. Absolutely disgusting because Physics, chemistry and maths, kept us all engrossed every time...but what had put us all in even more disgust, were the separation of  'Friendships' by the walls of our streams- SCIENCE AND COMMERCE.

THE SCIENCIES.

Whenever it came to us, the *sciencies*, we were considered to be those sincere nerds who could think of nothing except studies. We were imagined to be intelligent. In fact super intelligent...who sometimes were even taken as Einsteins' or Edisons', people who could solve anything and everything, although none knew we were all just the opposite. We contained that SWAG factor within us.Whenever it came to studies most of us were losers..if you talk about me, I had a crazy streak within me to participate in co-curricular activities, be it art or be it debates..I was always there, but unfortunately I was one of those losers who were not into studies but in the science stream.

In the first few days, teachers kept on brainwashing us, saying,"You are no more children now. You are managers. Managers of time. The one who manages his/her time the best for the next two years, will receive the best in future."

Thankfully, their brainwashing was limited only till some first few weeks, because later they also realized, that we didn't care, about what they said.

The best part of being in the science section in my school, are the part-time physics and chemistry teachers who leave from school at 10:30 am, after which we get all the freedom...but the two periods we have to spend with each of them everyday, are cruel. Absolutely cruel. Cruel because they give a lot of information about IIT as well as AIPMT...and i have no interest in being an IITian. I don't even plan to get 80s and 90s...All I plan is to pass with a respectable percentage, because even i know science is not the cup of my tea. For the world you are either a 90 percenter or an 80 percenter, but you are nothing if you are a 60 percenter.
Reading this, you might be thinking, that when I am so negative about science, why did I opt for it?!? Well, the basic reason for opting science, is that i did not want to study commerce(because the subjects involved tons of calculations), on the other hand, humanities wasn't available in my school, and I did not will to change the school, therefore I opted for PCM.

"My dreams are bound till infinity, but my teachers want them to be bound till science."

Complaints are regularly sent to my parents for the poor academic performance I show in the assessments..which of course make the meetings more answerable. Science is murdering a creative person (me), and its murdering hundreds of others too.
WE ARE BEING WASTED IN SCIENCE!

Whenever, i sit alone in front of the monitor, wanting to scribble, wanting to bleed my heart out, it feels like i don't know how to scribble, I don't have enough vocabulary through which i can put pen to paper and express myself.. It just turns out to be one of those days when i'm staring at the open Word document on my laptop and inspecting the continuously blinking courser as time passes by, but still trying to write.. maybe in wrong English, mmm...that's only because i don't want to quit writing. I'm frightened that once if i stopped writing, I  might not write again. Trepidation drives us human beings and it drives me too, to a certain level. But yeah! i don't know how far it can drive me.

THE COMMERCIANS.
If I talk about the commercians, they are the 'Happening Calculators' for teachers while for us ,they are a waste paper recycling factory, as we usually donate them our waste torn pages for them to perform calculation work.

What I hated about the teachers was that, they had developed an inequality between us,  we were not CLASS XI but we were  sciencies and the commercians.

Did i just tell you about this year's diwali break?!?! when we sciencies were given around, 165 questions in physics, 130 questions in chemistry , 50 questions in maths, 10 questions in IP and 6 questions in english. It was only a 4 day break, instead of a 8-10day break,therefore homework and tuitions acted as oil put into fire.

Did you just consider me nerdy? Please don't, because I'm just like you, might be lesser than you, but a common teen,who too has faced heartbreaks, listens to the latest Eminem songs and eats chocolates, whenever down.