Chapter 2

   When I arrived home, I didn’t call Paul to tell him that Katie would also be coming to the movies with us. I thought that I would surprise him. I didn’t know whether he would like it or not. Growing up together, we never really tried making any new friends. Both of us got what we needed form each other. In addition, we didn’t try making new friends because no one else would have got us. Or that is what I thought. So I didn’t really know if Katie would be a pleasant surprise or not to Paul.

   When I got home, I told my mom that I would be going to the movies.

   ‘You look happier than usual today. What happened?’ my mom asked.

   Was my blissful state that easy to see? I knew that I was excited and happy but I had no idea that my face betrayed how I felt. Meeting Katie had really brought a change in me that even my mother could see.

   ‘Just excited about the first day of school,’ I lied.

   I didn’t know why I lied. There was nothing to lie about. I had just made a new friend or I thought I made a new friend. Why I hid that from my mother, I didn’t know. My mom knew that I was keeping something from her but she didn’t ask me anything else. She let it go.

At around six thirty in the evening I began to get ready to go to the movies. I wore a plain red t-shirt with black jeans. I didn’t want to look overdressed. Not that I wore anything different on other days. This was my usual attire.

   I kissed my mom goodbye and I took her car keys with her permission. Then I drove to Katie’s house. I parked the car in front of her house and got out of it. I walked to her door and rang the bell. A few seconds went by and no one answered. Finally, Katie opened the door.

   ‘Shit,’ she said after seeing me standing in front of her door. Did seeing me instil that kind of a reaction? ‘Shit. I totally forgot that we were going to the movies. I was binge watching Game of Thrones and I totally forgot. Just give me a moment. I will get dressed in five minutes and then we can go.’ She was talking in a hurry so I didn’t catch what she was seeing. She was panicking.

   Before I could comprehend what she had said, she slammed the door behind her as raced to get dressed and left me outside. A second later she opened the door again and apologized for not inviting me in and showed me to the couch. No sooner had I sat down than she disappeared again.

   I looked around and she had a lovely home. It was clean and decorated gaily. No one else seemed to be home other than her.

   Soon she returned and motioned for us to leave. She too was dressed casually in a t-shirt and jeans. As we got out, she locked the door behind us.

   ‘Is no one else home?’ I asked curiously.

   ‘They went out for dinner,’ she replied.

   I led her to the car. She was surprised to see it.

   ‘I thought that we were going to walk,’ she said surprised.

   I went to the passenger side and opened her door for her. I wanted to be chivalrous. I thought that it would win me some points though I didn’t know what sport I was playing.

   ‘Is it your car?’ she asked as she got in.

   ‘No. My mom lets me borrow it when she is not using it,’ I said and closed the passenger door. Then I went around and got into the car. I started the car and headed towards the theatre. Towards possibility.

 

 

   I tried and tried but I kept failing. I tried to keep my eyes on the road but I just couldn’t. My eyes kept searching for Katie to my right. It was like my eyes were magnetically attracted to her. I didn’t know if she noticed me constantly gazing at her but if she did notice, she didn’t say anything about it. She was staring out the window the entire ride so I guess that she didn’t notice.

   A car sped past mine. I was so fixated on Katie that I didn’t see it till the last second so I was startled as the car went past me. Katie noticed that I was startled and turned towards me.

   ‘What happened?’ she asked worried.

   ‘Nothing. I thought I saw a spider. That’s all.’ I said calmly.

   ‘Are you scared of spiders?’ she asked with a playful glint in her eyes.

   ‘Terrified,’ I replied. Just the thought of spiders made me shiver. Katie chuckled.

   Katie resumed her gazing out the window and I resumed mine. I couldn’t stop stealing glances. Every time I stole a glance at her, I told myself that it would be my last. But it wasn’t. There was just something ineffable about her that made me behave and feel those things. Actually I didn’t know what I felt but I was sure that this behaviour was out of the ordinary for me.

   I noticed her turn towards me so I averted my gaze quickly before she saw me.

   ‘This place is really quiet, huh?’ she asked rhetorically.

   I nodded. She was still looking at me so I kept my eyes on the road.

   ‘Back in Michigan, there was so much noise at this time of night. But here it is so peaceful. It is so soothing,’ she continued still looking at me.

   I told myself that I shouldn’t look at her. That she was still looking at me. But my eyes didn’t listen. My eyes shifted to her. She was still looking at me. She saw me look at her and for a moment we were looking at each other. Her lips parted just a little before she broke into a smile. I smiled back. Then she looked away.

   The rest of the journey we didn’t talk much. It was wonder that we didn’t get into an accident because I was sure that we would get into one. But that didn’t stop me from stealing glances at her. I wouldn’t call it stealing though. Who was I stealing it from?

   Those glances had always been mine.

 

 

   We reached only to find Paul waiting for us in front of the theatre. Paul saw me and his face lit up.

   ‘I thought that you were going to bail on me,’ he said as I reached him.

   Katie was walking behind me so he didn’t notice her. Katie came to a stop next to us. Paul now recognizing her presence, gave her a weird look as if to ask why she was standing next to us. Immediately I began to explain her presence.

   ‘She is Katie. From class. I invited her,’ I said introducing Katie to Paul. Then I turned to Katie and introduced Paul to her. They stumbled into an awkward handshake of sorts with neither of them knowing what to do. I realized that it wasn’t this awkward when Katie and I first met.

   They shook hands. Paul didn’t seem to mind me inviting Katie that much though.

   ‘You play an instrument of some sort? Your fingers are all callused,’ Paul asked Katie.

   Why didn’t I observe that when I shook her hand in the afternoon? All that nervousness must have made me lose my sense of touch or something. I was both jealous and embarrassed that I wasn’t the one to notice the calluses first.

   ‘Yes. I play the guitar,’ Katie replied. ‘You play anything?’ she asked Paul.

   ‘I play anything that I can get my hands on,’ Paul said excitedly. He couldn’t contain his excitement. The both of them got into a conversation about music that I couldn’t quite follow.

   All the awkwardness of the handshake was replaced with fluid conversation of music. I felt like the third wheel. I felt ignored. Why didn’t I know more about music? I cursed myself.

   Katie called out my name as I snapped back to reality from my delusional world. I looked at her. ‘Do you play anything?’ she asked.

   ‘No,’ I replied slightly embarrassed though I didn’t know what I was embarrassed for. For spacing out or for not knowing the first thing about music.

   I looked at my watch. It was almost time for the movie.

   ‘I hope I am not disturbing you by being here,’ Katie told Paul apologetically.

   ‘I don’t mind at all. I am actually grateful to have someone who understands music,’ Paul said looking at me. He was grinning at me.

   ‘We should make a move if we are to have any chance of catching the movie,’ I said to no one in particular.

   ‘Shit,’ Paul said. ‘I only bought two tickets. I didn’t know that you were coming,’ he said to Katie. ‘If someone had told me beforehand, I would have got another one,’ he said clearly meaning me.

   Paul always had a habit of reaching early and he would always be ready with our tickets by the time I arrived.

   ‘It is alright. We can get one now,’ Katie said.

   We walked into the theatre and bought Katie a ticket. We were going to watch a movie that wasn’t worth remembering at all. It was a complete waste of our time. No. it was a complete waste of my time. Paul and Katie spent the entire movie whispering to each other. I was jealous of Paul. I was jealous of how easily he could talk to her. And of how their conversation never seemed to end. I spent the entire movie pretending to watch it and at regular intervals I would shush them but they paid no heed. They just giggled.

   Now I really felt like the third wheel.

   I hated that I was jealous. I hated the movie. I hated everything.

 

 

   After the movie was over we all got out of the theatre. I had to take Katie home so she stayed with me whereas Paul had come in his motorbike so he said his goodbyes and he left. I drove Katie back home. During the ride back home Katie and I talked about the movie and I explained to her some of the parts that she missed because she was busy talking to Paul.

   We continued to make small talk and soon her house came into view. I parked the car in front of her house. I pondered whether I should get out of the car and walk her to the door. Isn’t that what people usually did in movies? I decided that maybe it would be a little too much. I didn’t want to seem very eager. Katie opened the passenger door and got out. She turned towards me and stood there for a second just staring at me.

   ‘Thanks,’ she said. ‘I had fun tonight.’

   ‘Wait,’ I said as she was about to close the car door. ‘I will walk you to the door.’

   I didn’t know what made me change my mind at the last second but I did. Maybe it was me just saying words to myself. Or maybe I had always wanted to walk her to her door.

   ‘No. That’s not necessary,’ Katie said.

   I got out of the car anyway and walked her to the door in silence. It was a very short walk so it didn’t last long. She opened the door and entered the house. I was still standing outside. She turned toward me and smiled. I smiled back. It was getting awkward now for me. I didn’t know what to do now. Then she waved and closed the door.

   I made the long walk back to my car. It wasn’t long at all but it seemed longer without Katie by my side. As I was walking back to my car, I pictured Katie looking at me through a window from behind a curtain. I looked back at the house and checked all the windows but there was no sign of her. All I could do was dream.

   I drove back home. By the time I got home my mom was already fast asleep. So I went into my room quietly. I changed clothes and I the whole time I was thinking of Katie. I literally couldn’t get her out of my mind. I tried thinking of something else but a minute or so later Katie would creep back in. I didn’t know what was happening to me. I had never before felt anything like this. No person before had ever made me act this way. Is this what a crush is? I knew that crushes were just fleeting feelings so I thought that this would pass over time and I could be normal again. I thought that in a few more days or weeks, Katie would no longer occupy my mind in the manner that she occupied now.

   I turned out all the lights and got into bed. I tried to sleep but I couldn’t. I kept thinking of Katie and Paul and about how jealous I was of him. I decided to call Paul and tell him about my crush. Isn’t that what friends are for? I took my phone from my nightstand and dialled his number. I knew that he wouldn’t have gone to sleep yet. He picked up after a few rings.

   ‘Hey,’ he said.

   ‘Hey,’ I said.

   ‘So what do you have to tell me so late at night?’ he asked.

   I was having second thoughts about calling him. I felt like this was a mistake. That I was just bothering him with stuff that I would get over in a few days. I told myself that this crush was just temporary. I decided at that moment to not tell him.

   ‘I hope you didn’t mind that I brought Katie along with me tonight,’ I said instead.

   ‘Oh. Not at all. In fact she is actually a lot of fun.’

   ‘Okay,’ I said.

   ‘Is that all you wanted to ask?’ he asked.

   ‘Pretty much,’ I replied.

   ‘Fine. Talk to you later,’ he said and hung up.

   I placed the phone back on my nightstand. I covered myself with the sheet and tried to fall asleep. I tossed and turned and rolled even but to no avail. After what seemed like ages I heard my phone buzz on the nightstand. I wondered who would text me at this time of night. I thought that it would probably be Paul. I checked the time and only twenty three minutes had passed since I called Paul. I opened the text message and my heart leapt as I read that the message was from Katie. I was delighted. I read the message.

Katie : I just wanted to tell you that I am glad that you invited me out tonight. I had a lot of fun with Paul and you and I feel like this is just the start of a friendship that I would cherish.

   I wondered if she sent Paul a similar message too. I didn’t want her to. I was extremely happy that she texted me but the word friendship caught my eye. Did she know how I felt about her already and she wanted to make it clear that nothing would happen between us or was I reading too much into the message? And doesn’t everyone start of as friends in the beginning?

   I wanted to text her back but something stopped me. If I replied so soon would I come across as desperate or something? I hated it. I never had such problems before. I told myself that this was all in my head and the time that I take to reply to her message was irrelevant. So I replied.

Me : I am glad too. I am sure I wouldn’t have had a better night with anyone else. And I already cherish our friendship.

   No sooner had I hit send than I felt like an idiot. I thought that the last line of my text was too cheesy and it belonged in a movie somewhere. I wanted to go back in time and not reply at all. I kept the phone on the table and covered myself with the sheet. I curled up into a ball. I knew that it was highly unlikely but I wanted my phone to buzz again. At least that would tell me that she didn’t find that text weird or anything. I could feel each second pass by. That’s how slow time moved for me.

   I don’t know how long it took, but slowly I fell asleep.