Chapter 1

     The first day of my senior year of high school had arrived. I woke like it was any another day. Most people would have been excited. They would have already started to look into colleges and probably started planning their entire futures and whatnot. Me on the other hand, I was not the least bit excited. I had always been content with skating by life with no real ambition or anything. I had nothing to show for my eighteen years of existence. But that didn’t bother me. That hadn’t ever bothered me. I mean who knows anything in high school.  

   So I got up at the usual time. I did all the usual things and got ready for the first day of my last year in school. After I got dressed, I went into the kitchen to get some breakfast. My mom was making scrambled eggs when I entered.

   ‘You want some?’ she asked without looking at me.

   I didn’t really feel like eating at all but I had to eat something to survive and also I knew that I would soon feel hunger calling out to me if I didn’t get any food into my system.

   ‘No, thanks. I will just have a little bit of cereal I suppose,’ I replied.

   ‘So are you excited for school? I saw a bunch of school children walk past our house and they all seemed excited,’ my mom said cheerfully.

   ‘Not that much,’ I said unenthusiastically.

   ‘You have got to start living life for what it is. For how much longer can you pretend to not appreciate anything or to just not care about life?’ my mom said rhetorically. She always thought that I didn’t really enjoy living. She didn’t think that I was suicidal or something but just that I had no real purpose to living. Just going through the motions without a care. She always pestered me to take up something in life or to find something that makes me happy but what she didn’t understand was that I was happy the way it was. My mom always told me about Ramanujan, the great Indian mathematician and about how passionate he was about numbers. Ramanujan viewed numbers as an art without colours or something like that. Some people have that I their life and some didn’t. I was happy without it. For now.

   I shovelled some cereal into my mouth. I thought about what could possibly be worth getting excited about.

   ‘Fine I will try.’ I lied. I didn’t try. I was just going to be me. We didn’t talk anymore on that subject.

   After breakfast, I said goodbye and walked to school. I actually loved this part of the morning. I loved walking to school. So mom, take that. I actually loved something in life. There was something about walking in the morning breeze with the sun at an angle, having not yet reached its zenith. There was something calming in the air too. It was like I had all this time to myself where I didn’t have to worry at all. Not that I usually worried. All my thoughts seemed to become clearer while I walked to school at this time of day. There wasn’t much noise surrounding me either. Sometimes a few conversations floated out of houses but other than that it was very peaceful.

   As I got closer to school, the street began to get crowded. More students filed into school. They were all talking enthusiastically with their friends about all the things that a new school year would bring. As I walked into school, I noticed Paul sitting on a bench under a tree listening to music. He was probably listening to Bruno Mars. Paul couldn’t seem to get enough of him. He was obsessed with Bruno Mars. He wanted to be Bruno Mars.

   Paul was the only guy who got me. We had similar interests. It was not like we were some kind of losers. My description of Paul and me might come across like that but we were just average guys. But Paul was the popular one among us. Paul was just under six feet and he had curly hair and a lithe body. He was handsome in his own right. I had known Paul since the fourth grade. We had been friends ever since.

   I walked over to where Paul was sitting and I sat next to him. We didn’t greet each other or anything. We were way past all that. Paul pulled his headphones down and looked at me.

   ‘Have you heard the new single from Bruno’s album?’ Paul asked.

   ‘Not yet,’ I replied.

   ‘Here you go then,’ he said and thrusted his headphones into my hands. I took it and brought it to my ear.

   It was good but it was just the same old beat. It was not like I hated Bruno Mars but the song just wasn’t that catchy. I couldn’t tell Paul that since I didn’t want to let him down so I just feigned to like the music and nodded along.  

 

 

    ‘What a bore?’ Paul whispered to me as we were sitting in class. Mr Hagen was busy scribbling away at the board.

   Since it was the first day, none of the teachers began to teach. They let us do whatever we wanted. But not Mr Hagen. He was teaching something about the human anatomy or something which I found boring so I phased out.

    Paul sat next to me. He was scribbling into his book too. But I was sure that it wasn’t in anyway related to the human anatomy.

   ‘Yes,’ I said absently.

   I looked out the window to see a tree blocking my view. It was just my luck. I couldn’t even turn to nature to pass the time.

   Suddenly the door to the classroom opened and a girl walked in. Everyone in the class stopped whatever they were doing to observe this person who walked in. It was like something captured the attention of the entire class and everyone wanted to know what it was. My first thought was that she was very pretty and I mean very pretty. At least to me. She had shoulder length auburn hair and a face that I could never forget.

   She blushed just a little as she noticed everyone staring at her. She looked down at her feet and absently tucked a loose strand behind her ear.

   ‘What do you want?’ Mr Hagen asked her with a little hint of irritation. He didn’t like being interrupted or disturbed while he was teaching.

   ‘I … I am new here,’ she said. ‘I just joined today.’

   There was something about her voice. It had a very appeasing rhythm to it. She took one step forward to hand Mr Hagen a note that she was holding. It must have probably been from the principal. Mr Hagen read the note.

   ‘Why don’t you tell us all your name and then take a seat,’ Mr Hagen said pointing towards an empty chair at the end of the classroom.

   ‘My name is Katie,’ she said waving at all of us and then walked to the empty chair.

   No sooner had Katie taken her seat than Mr Hagen began teaching again from where he had left off. But no one was paying attention to Mr Hagen anymore. Everyone was staring at Katie with subtlety. Everyone was trying to figure her out. Katie knew that she was the centre of attention. She didn’t seem to like it. She slinked deeper into her chair.

   I found her extremely pretty. But I didn’t stare at her. I knew she was uncomfortable. Didn’t these things usually happen in movies where a pretty girl joins a new school and she becomes the centre of attention and stuff? But it was happening in my life now. Not in my life but in my class. She wasn’t a part of my life yet.

   I couldn’t help myself. I stole a glance at her.

                                                                                  

 

   Walking back home after school was not as calming as it was in the morning. First off, the sun showed its full might. I never liked the sun. I didn’t like rain either but it was the lesser of the two evils. Second off, after school I always had a headache. Not literally.

   The day wasn’t all that great. It wasn’t all that bad either. I was thinking about what I would do when I got home. Paul and I had made plans to go to the movies tonight. We decided to meet in front of the theatre at seven that night.

   The sun was killing me.

   Suddenly I felt someone tap my left shoulder. I was a bit surprised because I hadn’t noticed anyone following me. I looked over my left shoulder but I couldn’t see anyone. Strange. I then looked over my right shoulder to find Katie smiling. I had become the victim of the shoulder tap deception.

   ‘Hey,’ she said with a giggle.

   The day was getting better.

   ‘Hey,’ I replied a little shyly.

   ‘Katie,’ she said extending her right hand for me to shake it. ‘I saw you in Biology class.’

   ‘Oh! I remember. You are the new girl right,’ I said as if I didn’t know, as if she didn’t know.

   ‘Paul,’ I said shaking her hand. Why did I say Paul? ‘Sorry. Sorry. That is my friend’s name. I don’t know why I said that.’ My cheeks were flushed. I had embarrassed myself.

   She kept looking at me expectantly like she wanted me to say something.

   ‘So you are…’ she trailed off. It seemed like she would burst into laughter any moment and her will to not laugh at my face was the only thing that was keeping her from doing so.

   Shit. I forgot to tell her my real name, I realized. No wonder she was looking at me like that.

   I told her my name. I had made a complete fool of myself. I bet she was never going to talk to me again. Then I realized that I was still holding her hand and I let go.

   She smiled just a little. She looked prettier when she smiled.

   ‘I saw you walk past my house in the morning today,’ she said as we resumed walking.  

   ‘So your house must be on the way to my house,’ I said as if it wasn’t already obvious.

   Then we were plunged into a moment of silence. An awkward moment of silence. At least for me. I wracked my brain for some conversation topics but nothing stuck. I was so nervous. I didn’t know why. Maybe it was because a pretty girl had never voluntarily began an irrelevant conversation with me. The reason for that was because I always secluded myself from other people. But here I was trying to converse with a girl. And failing miserably.  

   Though the silence lasted for only a moment, it seemed way longer. It seemed like I was trapped in that moment and there was no way out and then when I had lost hope, her voice floated into my ear.

   ‘So the weather is nice, huh?’ she asked trying to make small talk.

   I wondered if she felt as awkward as I did. It must have been all in my head. I tried to regain my composure. I told myself that she was just an ordinary person and there was nothing to be nervous about. But for some unknown reason, I knew that I was lying to myself.

   ‘Yes,’ I mustered out the word.

   I knew that if I didn’t act fast, I would lose her. She would think that I am some weirdo and she would regret ever starting the conversation and I wanted to continue talking with her. I didn’t want this to be the end. For some reason, it bothered me that this could be the end.

   The end before it even began.  

   ‘So did you just move here?’ I asked with all the attempt to look unfazed. What a stupid question? Off course she just moved here, I told myself. What other reason could she have for switching schools?

   ‘Yes. I just moved here. I used to live in Michigan but here I am now,’ she said. She didn’t look even a tiny bit uncomfortable. She walked gracefully. I didn’t know if it was just me but she seemed to almost float. It must have been just me. No one floats.

   ‘So how do you like it so far?’ I asked but this time in a more relaxed manner. I had regained some equanimity.  

   ‘I still haven’t been anywhere out other than my home and school but the weather seems good.’ She seemed fixated on the weather.

   ‘Then why don’t you come to the movies with me,’ I said impetuously. ‘Not exactly with me. My friend Paul and I had planned to go tonight, so maybe you can join us,’ I corrected myself quickly. She must have thought that I was asking her out. She might still think that I was.

   Asking her out wouldn’t be the worst thing.

   She smiled again. She didn’t seem to mind. In fact I think that she found it amusing. She found it amusing to watch me make a fool of myself.

   ‘I would love that,’ she said still smiling. If she agreed to come to the movies, at least I didn’t weird her out.

   I was slowly breaking out of the nervous state. I was getting more comfortable being around her. She continuously played with the strap of her bag.

     I didn’t know if Paul would approve of my inviting Katie to the movies. I thought that he would be fine with it. Most probably she only agreed to come to be polite. She might just cancel later on. But even if she did come, what did he have to lose.

   ‘So should I get there myself or would you come pick me up?’ she asked.

   It took a moment to sink in that she was asking about how she would get to the movies. That meant she was serious about coming. She didn’t lie just to be polite. She didn’t lie at all.

   ‘I will come by your house at around seven then,’ I said and smiled probably for the first time since the awkwardness began. She reciprocated my smile.

   A few minutes later we were standing in front of her house. She had a very well maintained garden.

   ‘So this is where you live now?’ I said.

   ‘Yes. Home sweet home.’ She opened the gate and hesitated and turned to face me. She stood there for just a second and walked in a closed the gate behind her. She turned and waved goodbye. ‘See you in the evening,’ she said.

   ‘Yes. Bye.’ I stood and watched as she got into her house. I hoped that she didn’t find it creepy that I had watched her get into her house. I felt a little weird.  

   I began walking again. Alone now. I walked home with a genuine feeling of happiness in my heart.

   As I walked back home, I thought to myself that the day finally had the potential to turn into something extraordinary. Something better.