THE MENTAL ATTITUDE

‘’ One of the best attribute of a thought is that it is like a mercury; you can never catch it! ‘’

It is estimated that, on an average, 60,000 thoughts cross our minds every day.

A few months ago, I was asked to answer this question by one of my colleague at my workplace: ‘What is the biggest lesson you have ever learnt?’

That was quite simple for me: one of the vital lessons I ever learnt in life is the importance of thoughts. I smiled to my colleague and said her I would know who you are if I knew what you think. A man is what he keeps thinking all day long and there is no other possibility of his being anything else. We are what our thoughts make us. Our mental attitude is the ‘X’ factor which determines our fate.

Now, with a conviction beyond all doubt, the only problem you and I have to deal with in daily life is – choosing the right thoughts, we will be on the high road to solving all our problems. Our thoughts make us what we are.

It is easy to know how we think and how our thoughts make us. If we think happy thoughts, we will be happy. If we think miserable thoughts, we will be miserable. If we think fear thoughts, we will be fearful. If we think sickly thoughts, we will probably be ill. If we keep thinking about failure we will certainly fail. If we wallow in self-pity and keep hosting our pity party then everyone will shun us.

We cannot just advocate of a positive attitude towards everything as life is not that simple. But we can certainly presume a positive attitude towards all our problems instead of a negative attitude. We should be concerned about our problem which is a positive attitude, but not be worried which is a negative attitude. There is a difference between being concerned and being worried about a problem. Let me illustrate. Every time when I cross the traffic-jammed streets, I am concerned about what I am doing – but not worried. Concern means realizing about a problem and calmly taking steps towards the solution. Worrying means going around in maddening, futile circles and never approaching the desired solution. Our mental attitude has an almost unbelievable effect on our physical powers.

While going through a documentary on Lowell Thomas who had presented his famous films on the Allenby-Lawrence campaigns in World War I, there was a lesson learned on being concerned and being worried. He had sensational success at the London Opera Season, and he continued preparing film records in India and Afghanistan. Yet one fine morning, a lot of incredible bad luck happened and he did find himself broke in London. He had to borrow money for having his food.

Here is the point of the story: even when he was facing huge debts and severe disappointments, he was concerned but not worried. He knew that if his reverses did get him down, he would be worthless to everyone including his creditors. So, every morning before he started out, he put a flower in his buttonhole went swinging down the street with head high and positive courageous thoughts. He was concerned about the debts and one day he could pay off all his debts with some more sensational success at an Opera. He refused defeat to defeat him thus knowing the debt was a part of the game called life.

In my MBA days, during one of Human Resource lecture, I came across this psychological literature known as ‘Locus of Control’. It is a mental attitude and an individual’s belief system regarding the factors to which a person attributes success or failure. Locus of control is divided into two categories: internal and external. A person who has internal locus of control, that person attributes success to his or her own efforts and abilities. A person who has external locus of control attributes his or her own success to luck or fate and external circumstances surrounding them. This mental attitude of external locus of control creates more anxiety in them and they believe they are not in control of their lives. The internal locus of control attitude creates positive strength in a person thus improving the quality of their own efforts. The peace of mind and the joy we get out of living depends not on where we are, or what we have, or who we are, but solely upon our mental attitude. When we cherish creative thoughts of courage and calmness, the mind itself makes a Heaven of Hell for us.

Milton in his blindness discovered that same truth three hundred years ago:

‘’ The mind is its own place, and in itself;

Can make a heaven of Hell, a hell of Heaven’’

Nothing can bring you inner peace but you yourself. Self – reliance is the only options which can be opt by everyone, for peace of mind. External events like recovery of your sick or rise in your pay scale and such other factors can certainly raise your spirits but your inner peace only lies with you. In this stressed world we ought to be more concerned about removing wrong thoughts from the mind than about removing tumours from the body. Everything in our life is a game of our mental attitude towards it. Anyone can banish worry, fear and various kinds of illness, and can transform their lives by changing their thoughts. The thought process is the skeleton of every worry and every concern in our life. Often we just need some alteration to it.

Two years back when I encountered a darker phase of my life, I had a nervous breakdown. The reason was worry. I worried about everything : I would worry how would I pay my student loan; I worried I might lose my job if I do not work diligently; I worried I will lose my friends; I worried I would have stomach ulcers; I worried ultimately I would lose everything in my life. I was in depression and was not able to reconnect with myself. I could not analyse or interpret the situation, but I could only feel I have lost my inner peace and there was something which was controlling me.

My thoughts had the power to control me. The thoughts were working against me and I was having excruciating pain of an agonized mind. I was filled with fear and I could not talk even to my own family. I had the habit of attending Sunday mass at a church which happened to fall on my way to work. One Sunday morning when I attended the mass and listened to a sermon on the text: ‘’He who conquers his spirit is mightier than he who taketh a city.’’ When I heard this I remembered my mother say me: ‘’There is nothing wrong with either your body or your mind. It is not the situations you have met that have thrown you; it is what you think of these situations.’’

Sitting in the sanctity of the house of God and hearing the words, I was able to think clearly and sensibly for the first time in my life. I wanted to change my external factors, when the only change needed was in my thoughts. I just needed to change the focus of the lens of the camera which was my mind and its thoughts.

I focused more on my work and just took my life in my hands. My work gave me more appreciation and I had many more friends in my life now. So, the things which I was afraid to lose just because of my thought process, stayed back in my life. I was convinced that I had fought an inner battle of my thoughts and I did come out as a winner. Life is much fuller and friendlier now and I appreciate every moment of my life. When moments of uneasiness try to creep in my life, I just adjust the lens of the camera of the mind and everything gets better again in my life.

A man will find that as he alters his thoughts towards things and other people, things and other people will alter towards him. While radically altering thoughts can bring rapid transformation and the person will be astonished which will affect his material condition of his life.  All that a man achieves is a direct result of his thoughts. A man can rise, conquer and achieve by lifting up his thoughts and remain weak, abject and miserable by refusing to lift his thoughts.

According to the book of Genesis, the Creator gave man dominion over the whole wide earth. But all that we desire dominion over own self – dominion over thoughts, dominion over fears and dominion over spirit. And the most wonderful thing happens when we reach this dominion over a larger degree within ourselves. This can be merely done by controlling actions which in turn controls reactions.

One of the best teachings happened to me by my mother was importance of ‘the uncensored thoughts’. She taught me it was not always important for a person to keep censoring their thoughts for everyone. We cannot keep doing this. Thoughts need to be pure from heart and should not always be filtered. The people out there need to understand that there are always some certainties and uncertainties which would keep prevailing always by taking a cue from different thoughts.

Some rules to develop a mental attitude that will bring peace and happiness:

·        Think and act cheerfully, and you will feel cheerful.

·        Think positive thoughts of health and courage, it gives a new way of living life.

·        Practise writing a gratitude journal every morning where you must write everyday what you are grateful for every day.

·        Learn not to tolerate any thoughts of minor glooms and depressions even for a minute as it takes away the precious minute from your life.

Can you all end up this chapter by writing down one beautiful and positive thought of your life? It will bring a great difference in your life.