about College life

“College ke main gate se enter hone ke baad hum sabhi freshers ko ek line may khada kar diya gya…. Main man hi man soch rha tha ki lagta hai school ki tarh yha bhi prayer wala system hoga….shit yar…yha pr bhi prayer…

 Lakin ye kya …yha to muh may sweets diye ja  rhe hai…tika bhi lgaya ja  rha hai…gud yar…acha hai. Lagta hai college acha hai….ragging bhi nhi hoti hogi yha…aur agr hoti hogi to…????

  Tikakaran may ab mera number aa chukka tha… mere senior ne mere head pr tika lgaya aur sweet khilaya. Aur phir main andar gya. Sabhi log fasion may thy….alag hi tasan may thy.. aur main …..rajkapoor ki  filmo ki  trah unchi paint… shirt in …ek dum sidha sada bacha ki  trah lag rha tha… ab main apni class may gya.. jakar dekhta hu to kuch senior phele se hi wha bethe hai…mene socha ki kahi main galt class may to nhi chala gya…lakin mere dil ka wahm bahout jaldi hi dur ho gya….wo meri hi class thi…”

Main class may jakar chup chap beth gya… ek senior ki aawaj aayi…

“Hello….”

Main idhar udhar dekhne lga….

“Ha tumse hi bol rha hu… khada ho….aur idhar aa….”

Bhai sahb apni to fat gyi thi..mene socha lgta hai mere number ab lag chukka hai. Mere sath may betha hua ek student wo meri tarf dekhne lga…aur main uski tarf.. aur phir aawaj aayi…”

“Best of Luck…”

Mene usko thank you bol kar senior ke pass gya. Senior ne muje dekha, aur main pta nhi khi dekh bhi rha tha ya nhi……confusion boss….confusion..

“Name kya hai tera… intro de apna.”

Dar to lag rha  tha muje.. main aur dar gya…main bilkul mare huye ki aawaj may bolne lga.

“ Raj… Raj verma name hai . aur main Punjab ka rahne wala hu.”

Phir main chup ho gya. Itne may wha bethy ek senior ki aawaj aayi…

“Aaj breakfast kiya tha kya tune.?? Itna mery huye ki tarh kyu bol rha  hai? Tej awaj may bolte huye sarm aa rhi hai kya..”

Baap re.. main to aur daar gya.. phir mene apni aawaj ka loud speaker ka volume thoda sa loud kiya….

“ Thoda aur tej bol.. sunai nhi de rha.”

Phir main thoda aur tej bola….

“ Bhaiya mera name raj verma hai. Aur main Punjab se aaya hu.”

“oye….bhaiya kisko bola… boss bol humko…yha college may jitne  bhi senior hai, sab ko boss bolna hai. Samj may aayi baat.”

“yes boss”

“Aur ha, intro bola tha dene ko, isko intro bolte hai kya. Name bta diya, kha se aaya hai wo bhi bta diya…. Father aur mother ka name kon padosi batyega kya?? Ab ache se intro de… sath may 12th aur 10th may kitna % bna hai, wo bhi btayega, aur hobby bhi. Samj gya ab.”

“ ji boss, samj gya.”

 Phir kya  tha , ab  unko pura intro do. Wese ek baat hai… ye senior log khud ko boss kyu bulwate hai, ye muje samj nhi aaya, bhaiya ka bol do… esa lgta hai jese unko gali de di ho. Wese bhi ghar ka kutta hamesha shair hi hota hai….hahahha… college hai, senior hai sale, kuch bhi bulwa sakte hai. Bahar to kon boss bolega unko….

“ Boss, mera name raj verma hai, mere father ka name sandeep verma hai, meri mummy ka name geeta verma hai, mere father ki ek medical shop hai aur meri mummy house wife hai, mere 1 bhai hai aur bahan nhi hai. Main Punjab ka rahne wala hu. Aur galti se entrance exam may pass ho gya to is college may aa gya. Wese meri hobby, cricket kelna , comics padhna, song sunna aur movie dekhna hai. Bs itna hi.”

 Sabhi senior thoda hansne lge… phir ek ke pta nhi kya masti chadi. Bol pda ab.

“ galti  se is college may aa gya, kyu esi kya galti ho gyi.”

“Wo kya hai na boss, jis din paper tha, us din meri bus chut gyi thi, phir main lift mangte mangte exam center pahunch gya. Phir wha paper aaya to kuch samj nhi aa rha tha ki in sab ko solve kese kru to mene apni aankh band krke paper solve krke aa gya. Phir result aaya to main galti se pass ho gya.”

“kitna rank bna tera..?”

“ Boss, 7521 rank bna mera.”

“ok, rank to thik hai tera, acha faltu baat band kr, aur  abhi jo tune intro diya na wo wapis de.”

“ok boss, mera name raj verma hai, aur mere….”

“ary rook….”

Main to daar hi gya tha ki achanak boss ko kya ho gya, khud bolta hai ki intro do ab khud bol rha ruk… samj may nhi aata ki ye log jyada confuse hai ya phir main jayada confuse hu…kher wo situation hi esi hoti hai ki koi bhi nhi samj pata…

“hindi may nhi , humko English may apna intro de, samja, English may. Ab bol”

English may….!!! Lag gye ab to…bolna hi padega ab to wo bhi English may..

“Boss..My name is raj verma….My father name is sandeep verma….”

“ruk do mint…ye kya tarika hai .. father ke name ke aage Mr. kon main lgaunga kya. Aur itna atak atak ke kyu bol rha hai.. jaldi bol”

Fas gye yar aaj to bahout bure… ye college may kyu aaya… esi konsi ghadi thi … lagta hai hindi samj nhi aati sayad inko…

“ Boss, My name is Raj verma and  my father name is Mr. sandeep verma, my mother name is geeta verma. I have 1 brother and no any sister. My father is shopkeeper of medical shop. And my mother is house wife. I am from Punjab. And my hobby is playing cricket, reading comics, watching movie and listening songs.”

Ek lambi saans li mene.. badi muskil se English boli yar.. pasine hi aa gye.

Kasam se yar.. logbag English kese bol lete hai..??

“ok, song sunna pasand hai tuje… chal ek song suna.”

“Boss, sorry . ganna nhi aata muje.”

“ Ganna to tuje padega….soch le.”

Kya sochu ab…Ganna… aur wo bhi main…puri class may, sabke samne…lag gyi yar aaj to.. kya kry ab. Ganna ga hi deta hu. Kam se kam picha to chutega. Jese hi gaana gane lga…itne may hamare class  teacher class may enter huye.. aur sabhi boss log class ke bahar… bach gya aaj to.

  Phir teacher ne hamara intro kiya.. aur study may lag gye hum. Lunch time hua. Mere sath jo student betha hua tha. Wo aur hum jaldi se bahr chale gye. Aur jakar college ki parking may beth gye. Dusro ki bike thi sab…aur dusro ki bike pr bethne ka mza hi kuch aur hai. Hai na….hum log aapas may baat krne lge. Sabse phele intro se start kiya humne.

 

“yar hum log yha aakar kyu bethy hai… class may kyu nhi hai?”

“dekh bahi .. class may bethega to wo boss preshan krenge…isse acha hai apne yhi beth jate hai. Wese tune apna name kya btaya tha.??”

“ mera name raj hai.. raj verma aur tera name…?”

“ mera name Rajkumar hai, main yhi delhi ka rahne wala hu. Mere bde bhai bhi engineer hai. Wo kai bar btate hai ki ye boss log kisi bhoot se kam nhi hote hai. Isliye bach kar rahne may hi apni bhalai hai. Samja.”

“Ha samj to gya.”

Phir hum log dost ban gye thy… sath sath pura din rahe.. ab college ka off hone ka time bhi ho gya tha. Hum log jakar bus may beth gye thy. Main aur Rajkumar dono sath hi bethy thy. Tabhi boss logo ne bus may enter kiya..

“Tum dono to first year may ho na..yha kese bethy ho, chalo khade ho jao. Saram nhi aati boss khade hai yha, aur tum log seat pr bethy ho.”

“ ok boss, aap hi beth jao. Hum khade ho jate hai.”

Ye thi boss hone ki dadagiri…har kutte ka din aata hai…mera bhi kabhi aayega… tab main bhi itna hi rob marunga… don’t worry abhi to beth hi jao aap. Bas yhi soch kar apne  dil ko khush kar rha tha. Tabhi ek boss ne aawaj lagai.

“ hello, idhar aao yha…”

Hum log unke passs gye. Aur jakar khade ho gye.

“ name kya hai tera…”

“Boss, My name is Raj verma and  my father name is Mr. sandeep verma, my mother name is geeta verma. I have 1 brother and no any sister. My father is shopkeeper of medical shop. And my mother is house wife. I am from Punjab. And my hobby is playing cricket, reading comics, watching movie and listening songs.”

“ Aby ye kya  tha…mene to name pucha tha… pura intro thodi na pucha tujse.. tune to teri puri ramayan hi suna dali.”

“Wo kya hai boss, aaj pure din se sabhi ko intro de dekar muje ye yaad ho gya. Ab koi bhi mera name puchta hai to main pura intro hi de deta hu.”

“Shaktimaan hai kya  tu….jo name pucha to pura address hi bta dala.”

“Nahi boss….sorry.”

Tabhi ek ladki boli. Wo bhi senior hi thi.

“ Koi poem aati hai kya tuje..”

Mene kuch galt suna sayad, Poem…. Poem kese aati hogi yar, wese bhi ye ladkiya jo hoti hai, bachpan may dadi sulate time poem sunati thi, phir thodi badi hui to Maa sunnane lgi, ab aur badi ho gyi , aur abhi bhi poem….bhagwan kya hai ye..kher bhagwan ko bhi kya dosh du…. Wo to khud nhi samj paye aaj tak ladkiyo ko..

“ Nahi Miss boss… koi poem to nhi aati…”

“ Kyu bachpan may koi bhi poem nhi padi tune….”

“Padhi to bahout thi… lakin ab yaad nhi miss boss..”

“ gud.. ab to muje poem hi sunna hai.. chal start ho ja.”

Mar gya yar…ye senior log kisi machhar se kam nhi hote …. Picha hi nhi chodte sale. Phir mene poem sochna start kr diya. Ki konsi sunau. Phir ek poem yaad aayi.

“ Miss boss, ek poem yaad aayi hai, wo sunau…”

“ ha suna.”

“ Machli jal ki rani hai, jeevan uska pani hai….”

“ek min ruk..ese kya suna rha hai. Sath may acting bhi kar…”

Hey bhagwan, utha le…muje nhi in senior ko utha le…hitler kahi ke.. poem se pet nhi bhar rha to ab sath may iski acting bhi kro.. karna hi padega.. phir kya  tha. Sath sath may poem sunao aur uski acting bhi kro…. Main to ho gya start..

“ Machli jal ki rani hai, jeevan uska pani hai,

Hath lago dar jayegi, bahr nikalo to mar jayegi,

Cooker may dalo to pak jayegi,

Phir pet may dalo to pach jaegi…”

Sabhi senior jor jor se hansne lge…aur main chup chap khada rha. Itne may mera stop aa gya tha.