I HATE MY BROTHER

It is a dark night I am running wearing black jacket, black jeans and wondering why the hell I am wearing black goggles at this hour. Roads are empty no traffic no people probably it was very late in night. Actually I am rescuing the whole city and that my job.

 Well I find myself shooting bullets with my small pistol and shooting MC-BC words(not supposed to be used by a decent girl from decent family)  from my mouth chasing 2 fat men wearing dirty clothes having guns in hands almost killed me if they are not wearing loose jeans oh even their under wears of lux brand were peeping out, I always wonder why men are not ashamed of peeping underwear And why lux, I mean lux is a beauty soap how could beauty soap is named on men's underwear brand ? Or why would an underwear brand go for a name of beauty soap? A funny thought came to my mind "lux soap phle aya ya lux underwear". Well back on the road I was running and thinking how I could save myself from those two small, filthy, fat men with lux under wears. After running a mile they hide behind a building and try to shoot me, I fire few bullets and one of the fat men got injured a feeling of YES came in my mind.

Suddenly I feel a strong urge to pee but I know ,try to locate a toilet nearby would be a mistake. At this moment I wish I could be a boy. It’s my long cherish dream to be a boy I think every girl come across lots of situations when they wish they could be a boy. I try very hard to be one, wear shirt and pant like boys got my hair cut like them needless to say my hair dresser was not a lady from any beauty parlour its a man from hair dresser shop. Till I attain the age of eighteen nobody can’t tell that I am a girl lots of my neighbors and even relatives think that Susheel(my father) have three sons after that my feminine features worked perfectly and I look like a girl and my all efforts  failed. Human being can’t stand in front of GOD’s decision.

When I was wishing to be a boy so that I can piss off in open road and nobody will look at me, few more bullets are shot by me on them, suddenly somebody hold my neck so tight that I can’t even breathe. Oh my God I was so helpless what to do ,where to go, whom to ask for help. I felt that I am dead I tried to hit the attacker through my legs infect tried to shoot the attacker behind me but failed what happens to my pistol why she stops without telling me I tell you these days you can’t even trust your gun. I was about die not just because of grip but also from my urinary bladder which is about to bust any second.

The attacker drop me on some hard surface 2 to 3 feet down and starting laughing at me, another second I find myself on my bedroom’s floor with no guns,no criminals, no black jackets, no black jeans ,no black goggles but with that attacker who came in front and he was non other than my elder brother, laughing and rolling over my bed just attacked my dream in which I was a super hero saving my city from those pest working as an undercover CBI officer which I always wanted to be. Well let me introduce myself, this is me Jugnu Sharma always wanted to be a CBI officer. But GOD want something else whatever I asked from GOD he never fulfill my dream than I  forget it and start living without it and one day he fulfill it in a very strange way or you can say in a funny strange way. While reading this book you come across lots of my weird dreams and find it how weirdly GOD answered my prayers. My equation with GOD is quiet interesting and different.

 But my equation with my brother is simple and straight I just want to kill him. He always spoil my plans never ever let me be happy not even in my dreams. I stood up in disgust and sad as I have nothing with me as I had in my dream but a strong urge to pee. So without saying a word to my brother I went to washroom. I wish, I could have a pistol and I burst his head he at least in my dream.

I hate him, I hate him. He is like that pain in neck which never let you eat, never let you sleep, nor even let you watch TV it only goes with your death. He is like polio which lingerie all along with your life you can’t change it. People see you with pity, people may laugh at you some may wanted to help you but they can’t as this disease didn’t have any cure. So i have to live with it.

My 10th class exams were over I am ready to move in my 11th standard. You see there is a great hue and cry when a child of middle class family passed in 10th but parents are not happy that there child had made it infect they are worried whether he/ she can make it further. Well my case was the same being a brilliant student in academics my father hoped I’ll be a doctor one day but frankly speaking I hate biology it’s not like that i don’t love people, animals, plants insect etc. I am a social person and interested in them. Seriously interested in living being created by GOD, but least interested in knowing about their origins and their reproduction etc.

In biology we have to cram thing I can’t cram. I am just not good in that. Though people called me parrot but it’s because how I speak, it’s just because of pitch of my sound I can’t cram like them. But math it bring smile on my face. The only thing which stops me from not killing my brother is his introduction of math to me which changes my life. It is the only thing in him which makes me jealous otherwise he didn’t posses great features, good looks, fab physique as he thinks he has but frankly he failed in each criteria. You people must be thinking I hate him that’s why I am saying this. But come on yaar I am a girl too. I know the criteria of good looks ok to be fair I’ll give him 6 out of ten fair enough.

I fall in love with math when I was in class 5th before that it’s the worst nightmare in my life. Till than i just cram math after that I stated loving math. So till my fourth standard I learn math questions which came directly from the book and easily got 90 to 95 out of 100. But story take a horrifying  twist in 5th std when questions are twisted for example in book question is like if ram has   4 apples and 6 mangoes and sham has 7 apples and 4 mangoes and they put them in same basket tell how many apples and mangoes we have in that basket. It’s easy I learned it as 11 apples and 10 mangoes. But in exam it comes in that horrifying twist i.e  Radha has 5 bananas and  6 kiwis, Sita has 2  bananas and 3 kiwis if they put them in one basket tell me how many bananas and kiwis we have? I was confused, can’t answer that question because of following reasons:

·         I don’t like bananas. They cause me constipation.

·         I  never had kiwis till I was 20 years old and we went to some rich relative's wedding where  my mom come screaming from fruit chat stall and said  beta have it these are kiwis and I had it as if it's a rare amrit from sagar manthan.

·         And who the hell are Radha and Sita where they come from how could ram and Shyam all of the sudden become girls and turned into Radha and Sita. I miss you ram and sham come back please at least for one question.

But they won’t appear not even for a single question and I got 47 out of hundred. How much I tried to be a boy but i cried like a girl that day, a week and confused girl. That day was special as my brother helped me for first and last time in his life I wish, I could remember the date.

Back to my career hunt when everybody from our neighbors were congratulating my dad and mom on my passed status in class 10th they are not happy not because i being a brilliant student I just got 82%(I was shocked very less what I presumed), they are not even happy that, I was the only child out of 7 from my neighborhood who passed with flying colors, I find my neighbor Meena aunty seems more happier than my parents. Well my parents are like this always expect me to do those things what they like but me oops I always do what I wanted to. Both of us keep complaining and funny thing is that neither of us changes neither them nor me.